Here's Johnny!

Thanks for returning.

I meant to post a story that I had written, but I got side-tracked by Neat-O-Rama.
I found almost everything on there to be at least marginally interesting.
Rev got about a dozen e-mails from me saying, "Look how cool!!"

The day after my aforementioned forgetfulness, I worked with Officer Shadower.
A nice enough guy, younger than myself, who did what he was sent here from the future to do...
Make me feel OLD!

I telephoned (yeah, we still use those things) Rev and started my rant.
He (semi)quietly listened and nodded before replying, "Think of how I feel!!"

This year I celebrated (read: hid under the bed from) my 27th birthday.
Which, by my 'Rule of 'Almost'' means I'm a really old guy.

Shit...
I suppose I should elaborate on that.

Vincent J. Vinnetti's 'Rule of 'Almost'' as read by Samuel L. Jackson
Any amount, rounded up to it's nearest multiple of 5 (in order to get to a multiple of 10)(IE: 3 up to 5 up to 10)
Then rounded up to another multiple of 10 (10 to 20 to 30)
Then multiple multiples of 10 (30 to 50 to 100)
In order to achieve a false nearness to a person, place, or thing.
Ex. I'm 27, which is almost 30, which is almost 40, which is almost 50, which is almost DEAD!!
Thus I, at 27... am almost dead.

Not to be confused with the elders 'Rule of 'Might As Well Be''
(ex. She's only 19! Might as well be 10!)

Point, point, point...
Ah yes!
The point!

 I Like Cheese has a well written piece on "Skinny Jeans" and the fad culture of youth.
I read it.
I agreed with it.
And it reminded me of the rant at Rev, and what I was going to write about.

My little brother told me about his girlfriend's favorite action/phrase when departing; Closing her hand into a fist and holding her pointer and middle fingers up in a V shape and saying, "Deuces!"
Said little brother explained to me that this was a shortened version of "Chuckin' up some deuces."
ex. "Johnny chucked up some deuces and we left that rag-tag Benefit for the Nocturnal Harp Seal."

Admittedly, I'm an old soul.
I like music from the 50's till the mid-90's more than I do most of what's out now.
I also enjoy old movies, old T.V. shows, old cars, and older (than myself) women.
Because of this, I feel confident that most of you will, if you haven't already, gone through the above mentioned hand motion mentally or physically and realized...

IT'S THE PEACE SIGN!

I was mid rant when Officer Shadower informed me that "Chuckin' up deuces was like, 5 years ago."
...
*deep breath*
"I'll get to you in a second."
*finish ranting to/at Rev*

What in the blue f*ck has happened to us that our youth have turned this once meaningful gesture into an abominated catch-phrase?

So, I Like Cheese, if you feel old remember this;
1. I remember the peace sign (and use it) as the meaningful gesture it was intended to be.
2. I am young enough that I should know (and use) it's abomination instead.
3. I'm so out of touch with reality (spending nights at home watching M*A*S*H and listening to The Animals) that this eluded me for 5 years.

If you REALLY want to feel old...
When saving a file, the 'save' icon is a 3 1/2 inch floppy disk.
Officer Shadower informed me that he knows people that don't know what that is.
They've never seen one.

Imagine how the ZIP drive must feel.



Don't let 'em getcha.

V.V.