The First Day Back or No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

The day started out great.
Went to the doctor.
Got released back to full duty.
Spent some time with Bella.
Took a nice long shower alone.
That wasn't so great, but it's the first time I haven't needed help washing my armpits.
Went to work.
A little late but, I was there.
Anyway, when I get there, they tell me I'm going to the hospital.
Inmate #23752378 (random number) had a diabetic problem and needed help out.

So myself, the ass clown I wrote about in "Assistance is Futile," and another officer are watching over this guy while a nurse takes some blood and he says "I've gotta pee."
No big deal until...
The nurse gives him a plastic pee pot and he won't go.
It takes this nurse about less than 5 minutes to get tired of this and threaten (and use!) a catheter.
I thought there would be a slight downtime to get supplies ready.
Little did I know that they come pre-packaged now.
Pull this tab empty contents, clean and insert.
I'm already close because he's been less than helpful thus far.
Now I'm calling over the fellas to grab a hand (because I know he's not gonna want this) and maybe a shoulder.
Upon insertion, his hands move, he tries to sit up, and tries to pull his legs up to get away from "the tube."
Awesome.

Really the only eventful thing that happened with Inmate # 52987325.


Only a little while later, however, there's a little commotion outside the room.
A nurse calls for security.
I poke my head out the door.
She points down the hall.
I look, and wait.
No security.
She calls on the radio.
I look, and wait.
No security.

I can't wait anymore.
I gave security a chance.
I shouldn't go, I'm not covered by anyone if something happens.
But something is already happening.
Someone may be getting hurt.
You never know in a hospital.
My brain has already heard 10-5 (staff needs immediate assistance) twice.
Back on the ranch, if you're in a spot that needs someone, you have to stay.
But we're not on my ranch, and there's two other guys to watch Inmate VanWinkle (read: sleeping)

I grab the nearest phone booth, change into my blue tights, I can't find my cape though.
What to do, what to do...

The suit really doesn't pop without the cape but gosh, I think I left it back at the BatCave.
Oh, wait.
It's tangled up in the back of the pants.

OK.
On my way.
Officer 2 sees me moving and sends Officer 3 (the fake dog turd guy) to assist.
(I'd like to take this time to point out that O2 doesn't trust O3 enough to sit with a sleeping inmate, so he HAS to be sent with me.)
When I arrive on the scene, it's just a drunk pill popper, and he doesn't want help from the nurses trying to save his overdosing self.
So instead of cracking a skull (Which I really wanted to do.) all I got to do was talk this guy down, calm him, and explain the joys of life to him.
At some point in time a burly (read: useless) security guard shows up to watch me handle things.

Finally I gave Secure E. Guard the reins to the drunk and went back to my own little world.

It was only a 5.5/6 hour day, but for my first day back in 2 months, it was rather exciting.

After work, we (Bella and I) went to a friends house, came home, and went to sleep.

That's it.

Don't let 'em getcha.
V.V.