I'm not going to say I was on the wagon for anything, but I did NOT drink for about a week.
I finished off my $10 gallon of vodka and decided (by way of being broke) not to buy anything more.
I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed for a few days.
It was ok, but by the time Thursday rolled around I was ready for a cold one.
I had one...
Actually, I had two.
Long Island Iced Tea.
My favorite.
Tonight though, I had a martini.
Well, I would have had one, but I ordered it so dry by the time it got to me it had blown away.
Anyway, in leau of St. Patrick's Day I wore my "I'm A Drinker, Not A Fighter" shirt and went out dancing.
Since I have not two left feet but a whole millipedes worth of them, I didn't dance much.
I did sing some karaoke, though.
The point is, um... well, I don't really know.
The wagon is a dark and dreary place to be.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't drink and drive, you might spill some.
And if you see me out, take me home.
I shouldn't be driving on my own.
Sober or not.
Checked my StatCounter today and saw I'm bringing in some stuff from Park Hills, MO., KC, MO., Plano, TX., Somewhere in Michigan, London, England, and somewhere in Sweden.
I just want you to know, if you're from Sweden, I'm single, and I'm looking for a girl to talk to me in language I'll never understand.
I've got nothing else.
But I figured had to say something.
Diareah of the mouth I guess.
Rev would know what Professor Plum would call it.
I could look it up, even watch Clue to find out, but not tonight.
Tonight I think I'll just sleep.
Maybe tomorrow I'll get it all fixed.
But, alas, tonight I'm off like a prom dress.
My most humble apologies to all the prom dresses reading this.
Don't let 'em getcha.
(Like someone got me!)
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A Little Obsessive-Compulsive + a Little A.D.D. = A Little Interesting (Views And Opinions Expressed Are Solely of the Author; Any Fact is Cited)
4 comments:
The Good Professor would call it "Pressure of Speech!"
I would more likely call it the insane ramblings of an infant worm being sucked backwards through a french milking machine.
But that's just me.
Gotta watch those martinis. Too dry and you're just drinking gin. And if you are just going to drink gin you might as well stay home and drink your Old Spice. Or Axe or Bod or whatever purplehaze stuff you youngsters use these days. Your breath will smell better in the morning.
And, just for the record, I don't care all that much for ramen, thank you.
Rev~
I don't know whether to be honored or offended.
I'll just be both, saves time.
I can't drink Old Spice, it's too expensive.
And it's not whether you like ramen or not, it's prison stew.
But I'll change it if you want.
Don't change it. The name is starting to grow on me. As long as I don't have to eat any of that stuff, I'm good with it. And if you get hard up, I got about fifty old bottles of aftershave you can drink if you want. Me, I only use it for medicinal purposes.
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